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Chapter 18: The Way Becomes Conscious

After Baba and Rudi had gone, I stood in the form of my own existence without even the least sentimental attachment to the previous ways of my seeking. I was not dependent on any path or experience to guarantee or interpret what I knew. Indeed, nothing was available by which to interpret it.

I looked into myself to see what it was, and perhaps even to discover some analogy in the spiritual experience of mankind that would demonstrate a link and provide a source by which I could explain myself.

I knew that the ultimate realization that had occurred in relation to the Shakti was analogous to what the Hindus call "Self-realization." It is the unqualified experience of consciousness as radically non-separate, non-separate from Reality, identical to what always and already is. It is not communicated to itself through any level of being, body, realm or experience, but knows itself directly, as itself, being itself apart from and prior to all separative action of avoidance, which is identification, differentiation and desire. All things are experiences or objects that never touch it. It is not even the "Witness," neither the experienced nor the experiencer an any state, but only Reality itself. Experiencer and experiences are contained, limited and ended an one another. But an Reality there is not experience, no identity, differentiation, desire, separation, suffering, seeking, action or inaction.

As weeks passed, I saw that I remained unqualifiedly as this, untouched by any experience, identity or difference. I saw there was no independent Shasta, no Guru, no strafe, ignorance, or need, no movement, no activity, no fundamental change an or out of meditation. I saw that Baba's Shakti dad not affect me fundamentally, nor dad any other pleasure or experience. The same awareness, the same understanding continued without modification under all conditions.

I knew Reality as no-seeking, a motiveless awareness an the heart. The body appeared to be generated and known from a position an the right side of the chest. In this state, neither Baba nor any path can act as an interpreter. It only validates itself.

The form of enquiry that had developed in my understanding seemed to go on continually an the heart: "Avoiding relationship?" And as the enquiry penetrated every experience and every apparent dilemma, I would feel the bliss and energy of consciousness rise out of the heart and enter the sahasrar, the highest point in consciousness, and stabilize there as a continuous current to the heart. I saw that this form, the Form of Reality, the structure of consciousness, was Reality itself. It was the structure of all things, the foundation, nature and identity of all things. It was the point of view of everything. It was blissful and free. That form of consciousness and energy was exactly what I had known as the "bright."

As I continued in this way I remained stably as that Form, and all things revealed themselves in truth. The "bright" was the ultimate Form of Reality, the heart of all existence, the foundation of truth and the yet unrealized goal of all seekers.

This Form, the "bright," was understanding itself. It was no-seeking and no-dilemma as a primary, uncreated recognition. It was radically free of the whole search for perfection and union. When it is perceived the whole life is at best observed and enjoyed, and these things no longer provide a source of motivation apart from this primary awareness. The "bright" was only a medium for radical presence and enjoyment without dilemma, unconsciousness, or separation.

I also saw that I had never been taught my path from without. The "bright," with its foundation in the heart, had been my teacher under the form of all my teachers and

experiences. My awareness, fundamental knowledge and apparent "method" had developed spontaneously in the midst of a few crisis-experiences. From the beginning, I had been convinced of the fruitlessness and necessary suffering involved in every way of seeking. I had made only temporary use of the methods of others, and at last I adapted to no - one else's way but only used my own. Thus, I had experienced the real blessings of such as Baba but only while firmly involved in my own peculiar approach.

The "bright" had seemed to fade in adolescence, but it had only become latent in the heart while I followed my adventure from the viewpoint of the mind. The heart had been my only teacher, and it continually broke through in various revelations until I returned to it, became it, and rose again as the "bright."

Thus, I came to this recognition of Reality directly, it or even parallel it. But as I came to this clear and crucial recognition of my own truth, I began to recollect a source that seemed to agree with my own experience.

When I began to recollect this source I wrote the following:

One night, in the spring of 1970, I passed from this body during sleep and arrived in subtle form on the inner plane of the world. There I stayed with an old man who had white hair and a short white beard. He wore a bandana on his forehead, which was the custom of the late saint Sai Baba. For several months after this meeting I supposed I had met the Siddha, Sai Baba, on the subtle plane.

I was received as if I had been awaited. I was greeted by the family, friends and devotees of the old man. He embraced me with love and told the company I was his son. Then I was received without the knowledge of a single source that would confirm by all in a celebration that had the informal, family air and importance of a Jewish Bar Mitzvah.

I understood that this was my father on the highest spiritual level, and thereafter I was to live consciously as his son. I would await and eventually receive the inheritance that was my right by this reception and acknowledgment.

In the late fall of 1970, when all things had returned to Reality, and I was no longer seeking or confused, I recognized this father. He is known as Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi, the great master who discarded the body at Tiruvannamalai, South India, in 1950.

Swami Muktananda did part of his sadhana with Ramana. It was there that he experienced the Vedantic, non-dualistic teaching in its most direct and living form. But he found his own Guru in the Siddha, Swami Nityananda.

Baba demonstrated Siddha yoga to me. And then I saw how the Shakti and all experiences also resolve into that same Self which was the realization of Ramana. Thus, when I realized it, the truth was that very Self which is Reality. Then it was not a matter of siddhis or experiences. There was only understanding. I knew it in the same Form communicated by Ramana. And Baba is that same Form. It is Nityananda. It is Ramana. It is Bhagavan. And I am He.

As I began to assess my experience and understanding in detail, I recalled this experience that had occurred several months before. There was no fundamental disagreement between Baba and me. It was only that Siddha yoga had been fulfilled, and I had drawn into the knowledge that is its true goal.

When I appeared in my own Form I simply understood in a direct way the symbol that is hidden in yoga and the Mother. I also recognized Shakti. When I knew my own nature, then Baba, Nityananda and Ramana in Reality.

Ramana Maharshi had become familiar to me in the past through his various writings and recorded dialogues. He appeared to me to be a prime example of the living truth of Advaita Vedanta, the radically non-dualistic philosophy of the East. I had brought one of his books with me on my last trip to India, not so much for his own writings, but for the translations of ancient Vedantic texts included in his collected works. I never thought of him except in terms of this non-dual philosophy that seemed to parallel my own understanding. But now I also began to recall certain experiences that he had described in his own case. I remembered that he had given special prominence in his teaching to the experience of the "Self" in the heart, in the right side of the chest.

I returned to his works, looking for confirmations of my own experience. And I found that his path had remarkable parallels to my own experiences. Even the event in Ramana's childhood that gave birth to his ultimate state was very much like the one through which I had passed in seminary.

He described it himself as follows:

It was about six weeks before I left Madurai for good that the great change in my life took place. It was so sudden. One day I sat up alone on the first floor of my uncle's house. I was in my usual health. I seldom had any illness. I was a heavy sleeper. When I was at Dindigul in 1891 a huge crowd had gathered close to the room where I slept and tried to rouse me by shouting and knocking at the door, all in vain, and it was only by their getting into my room and giving me a violent shake that I was roused from my torpor. This heavy sleep was rather a proof of good health. I was also subject to fits of half-awake sleep at night. My wily playmates, afraid to trifle with me when I was awake, would go to me when I was asleep, rouse me, take me all. round the playground, beat me, cuff me, sport with me, and bring me back to my bed and all the while I would put up with everything with a meekness, humility, forgiveness, and passivity unknown to my waking state. When the morning broke I had no remembrance of the night's experiences. But these fits did not render me weaker or less fit for life, and were hardly to be considered a disease. So, on that day as I sat alone there was nothing wrong with my health. But a sudden and unmistakable fear of death seized me. I felt I was going to die. Why I should have so felt cannot now be explained by anything felt in my body. Nor could I explain it to myself then. I did not however trouble myself to discover if the fear was well grounded. I felt "I was going to die," and at once set about thinking out what I should do. I did not care to consult doctors or elders or even friends. I felt I had to solve the problem myself then and there.

The shock of fear of death made me at once introspective, or "introverted." I said to myself mentally, i.e., without uttering the words - "Now, death has come. What does it mean? What is it that is dying? This body dies." I at once dramatized the scene of death. I extended my limbs and held them rigid as though rigor-mortis had set in. I imitated a corpse to lend an air of reality to my further investigation, I held my breath and kept my mouth closed, pressing the lips tightly together so that no sound might escape. Let not the word "I" or any other word be uttered! "Well then," said I to myself, "this body is dead. It will be carried stiff to the burning ground and there burnt and reduced to ashes. But with the death of this body, am 'I' dead? Is the body 'I'? This body is silent and inert. But I feel the full force of my personality and even the sound 'I' within myself, - apart from the body. So 'I' am a spirit, a thing transcending the body. The material body dies, but the spirit transcending it cannot be touched by death. I am therefore the deathless spirit." All this was not a mere intellectual process, but flashed before me vividly as living truth, something which I perceived immediately, without any argument almost. "I" was something very real, the only real thing in that state, and all the conscious activity that was connected with my body was centered on that.

The "I" or my "self" was holding the focus of attention by a powerful fascination from that time forwards. Fear of death had vanished at once and forever. Absorption in the self has continued from that moment right up to this time. Other thoughts may come and go like the various notes of a musician, but the "I" continues like the basic or fundamental sruti note which accompanies and blends with all other notes. Whether the body was engaged in talking, reading or anything else, I was still centered on "I." Previous to that crisis I had no clear perception of myself and was not consciously attracted to it. I had felt no direct perceptible interest in it, much less any permanent disposition to dwell upon it. The consequences of this new habit were soon noticed in my life. (3)

This was very much like my own experience of "death" in seminary. And its ultimate consequences in my understanding were also similar, although Ramana taught through the medium of Indian Vedanta and saw the whole importance of his awareness in the pure awareness of "Self," prior to all life, whereas I was led to understand in terms of "Reality" as unqualified relationship and as the creative, living Presence of the "bright."

But as I continued to read the Maharshi's works I found that he had also realized Reality in the same form I called the "bright." In one place he describes it as follows:

For one who abides in the Self, the Sahasrara becomes pure and full of Light. Even if thoughts of objects due to proximity fall therein, they do not survive.

(3) B.V. Narasimha Swami, Self-Realisation: Life and Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi (Tiruvannamalai, 1962), pp. 20-22.

Even when objects are sensed by the mind, due to proximity, yoga is not hindered, as the mind does not perceive the difference between them and the Self. (4)

His idea of liberation or real freedom also agreed with my own experience:

Once, unasked, he defined Moksha (Liberation) to one of the attendants. "Do you know what Moksha is? Getting rid of non-existent misery and attaining the Bliss which is always there, that is Moksha. (5)

And he describes in detail the experience in the heart in many instances, as in the following:

D. - But is there really a center, a place for this "I"?

M. - There is. It is the center of the self

to which the mind in sleep retires from its activity in the brain. It is the Heart, which is different from the blood vessel, so called, and is not the Anahata Chakra in the middle of the chest,

one of the six center spoken of in books on Yoga. (6)

M. - You cannot know it with your mind. You cannot realize it by imagination, when I tell you here is the center (pointing to the right side of the chest. The only direct way to realize it is to cease to fancy and try to be yourself. Then you realize, automatically feel that the center is there. (7)

(4) Ramana Maharshi, Sri Ramana Gita (Dialogues of Maharshi), trans. Krishna Bhikshu (Tiruvannamalai, 1966), p. 20.

(5) Arthur Osborne, Ramana Maharshi and the Path of SelfKnowledge (New York, 1970), p. 185.

(6) Sat-Darshana Bhashya and Talks with Maharshi (Tiruvannamalai, 1968), p. xv.

(7) ibid, p. xvii.

The more I read of Ramana's works the more I realized his experience and its results as understanding almost exactly paralleled my own, although with a peculiar Eastern emphasis. I saw that Ramana was a source of confirmation and agreement with the outstanding realizations of my own life.

Since we have come to the final portions of this book, I feel it would be valuable to quote the works of Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi as they pertain to my own experience. His works stand as a valuable aid to the communication of the way of understanding that I must now make known to you.

The core of Ramana's teaching is found in a brief work called Sri Ramana Gita, which is based on an early dialogue between him and various disciples. In Canto Five of that work, called "The Science of the Heart," he describes in simple fashion the direct and radical intuition my own life has described piece-meal.

1. In the aforesaid year (1917), on the night of the ninth of August, Ramana Muni discoursed elaborately on the subject of the Heart.

2. That from which thoughts of the embodied issue forth is called the Heart. All its descriptions are only mind-pictures.

3. All thoughts sprout from the root "I" thought.

4. If the Heart be located in "Anahat Chakra" how does the upward movement of the life-force in yoga begin in "Mooladhara?"*

*(Translator's note - Anahata Chakra: In the Yoga Shastra, it is said that along the spinal chord runs a channel through which the life-force of an individual runs in two ways, one from above downwards from Sahasrara in the head, to Mooladhara at the end, that is near the coccyx; and the second way is from Mooladhara to the Sahasrara. Along this route there are seven centres from which the life-force runs to all the organs of the body. They are called Chakras.

The main channel along the spinal chord is called Sushumna. When force runs from above downwards, it is said to be traveling in the Purva Marga. When force is running from below upwards it is called Paschima Marga. When force runs in the Purva Marga, the body and all its limbs get energy and when force runs from below upwards, it leads to several psychic experiences. The Chakras from below upwards are named: (1) Muladhara (2) Swadhisthana (3) Manipooraka (4) Anahata (5) Visuddha (6) Ajna (7) Sahasrara. All these centres are compared to the lotus flowers and various descriptions are given of these Chakras. When force ascends to each of these Chakras, several psychic powers are obtained. Now Bhagavan's theory is that the heart is none of these. The Divine Force descends into the body at a point called the heart, goes to the Sahasrara and from there descends into the body. In the reverse way when you withdraw in from the body into the higher fields of consciousness the force goes upwards to Sahasrara and descends into the heart, the passage between the Sahasrara and the heart being called "Amrita Nadi.")

5. This heart is different from the blood-circulating organ. Analyzed, "Hrid plus Ayam" is Hridayam which word thus expresses the nature of the Atman (Self).**

**(Translator's note - Note on sloka 5: Ayam means "this;" Hrid means "that which attracts into itself everything finally." The entire word Hridayam therefore means "that into which all things subside at the end.")

6. Its location is on the right side of the chest and not on the left. The Light flows from that heart to the Sahasrara through Sushumna.

7. From there, it flows to the entire body, when all experiences of the world occur. Viewing them as different from the Light of the Self, you get entangled in Samsara (the whirl of the phenomenal world).

8. For one who abides in the Self, the Sahasrara becomes pure and full of the Light. Even if thoughts of objects due to proximity fall therein, they do not survive.

9. Even when objects are sensed by the mind, due to proximity, yoga is not hindered, as the mind does not perceive the difference between them and the Self.

10. If Chit or Awareness is firm and single pointed even when the objects are sensed, that state is called "Sahaja Sthithi." When objects are not so grasped mentally "Nirvikalpa Samadhi" occurs without concepts.

11. The body is an epitome of the entire universe and the Heart is the epitome of the entire body. Therefore the Heart is the epitome of the entire universe.

12. The universe is none other than the mind, and the mind none other than the Heart. Thus the entire story of the universe ends with the Heart.

13. The heart exists in the body even as the sun exists in the universe. The mind exists in Sahasrara as the orb of the moon in the universe.

14. As the sun lights up the moon even so this Heart imparts light to the mind.

15. A mortal, not established in the Heart, perceives only the mind, just as the light is perceived in the moon in the absence of the sun

16. Not perceiving that the source of the

light is one's own real Self, and perceiving the objects through the mind as apart from himself, the ignorant one is deluded.

17. The Enlightened One inhering in the Heart, sees the light of the mind merged in the light of the Heart, like the light of the moon in the daylight.

18. The Enlightened One knows the mind as the expressed meaning of the word "Prajnana" and the Heart as the thing meant. The Ultimate Divine is not different from the Heart.*

*(Translator's note - "Prajnana" means the knowledge, and at other times it means knowledge through experience. Similarly "Vijnana" is used to describe sometimes the knowledge of the various objects and sometimes the experience of the Ultimate.)

19. The notion that the Seer is different from the seen abides in the mind. For those that ever abide in the Heart the Seer is the same as the seen.

20. The thought process, suddenly broken by swooning, sleep, excessive joy or excessive sorrow, fear, etc., aces back to its original place in the heart.

21. The embodied do not know that at that time thought has entered the Heart but are aware of it in Samadhi. This difference leads to a difference in names. (8)

(8) Sri Ramana Gita, pp. 18-23.

This is a precise description of the state I came to enjoy at the end of all my seeking. And Bhagavan's language contains certain concepts that may now be used as more precise equivalents to certain phenomena I have described.

The "Self" is here meant to indicate the nature of Reality itself as identical to that which is ultimately signified and known as consciousness. Every form of our ordinary consciousness, usually identified with some role, subject or type of action, is in fact rooted in the present consciousness that is the "Self." And it is not radically differentiated from anything. It is the source and "light" of all levels of being, bodies, realms and experiences. When it is known directly, tacitly, as one's very nature, it seems to reside in the heart, neither the physical heart nor the heart chakra, but the area to the right of the chest.

The precise relationship of this "Self" to ordinary consciousness is elaborated in Canto Nine, entitled "On Granthi Bhedam" (the "knot" of false identification, differentiation and desire).

1. On the night of the fourteenth of August, I put a question to the Maharshi regarding "Granthi Bheda" on which even the learned have doubts.

2. The lofty-minded Bhagavan Sri Ramana Rishi, listened to my question, spent a time meditating in his divine mode, and spoke.

3. "The association of the Self with the body is called the Granthi (knot). By that association alone one is conscious of his body and actions.

4. The body is completely inert. The Self is active and conscious. Their association is inferred from the experience of objects.

5. Oh child, when the rays of consciousness are reflected in the body, the body acts. In sleep, etc. the rays are not so reflected and caught and therefore some other seat of the Self is inferred.

6. Electricity and similar forces, which are subtle, pass through the gross wires. Similarly the light of active-consciousness passes through a nadi in the body.*

*(Translator's note - Nadi is the channel in which the life-force Prana flows in the subtle body but is usually equated with a nerve.)

7. The effulgent light of active-consciousness starts at a point and gives light to the entire body even as the sun does to the world.

8. When that light spreads out in the body one gets the experiences in the body. The sages call _ the original point 'Hridayam' (the Heart).

9. The flow of the rays of the light is inferred from the play of forces in the nadis. Each of the forces of the body courses along a special nadi.

10. Active consciousness lies in a distinct and separate Nadi which is called Sushumna. Some call it 'Atma Nadi' and others 'Amrita Nadi.'

11. The Individual permeates the entire body, with that light, becomes ego-centric and thinks that he is the body and that the world is different from himself.

12. When the discerning one renounces egotism and 'I-am-the-body idea and carries on one-pointed enquiry (into the Self), movement of life-force starts in the nadis.

13. This movement of the force separates the Self from the other nadis and the Self then gets confined to the Amrita Nazi alone and shines with clear light.

14. When the very bright light of that active consciousness shines in the Amrita Nadi alone, there is none other except the Self.

15. In that light, if anything else is seen, even then it does not appear as different from the Self. The Enlightened One knows the Self as vividly as the ignorant one perceives his body.

16. When Atma alone shines, within and without, and everywhere, as body etc. shine to the ignorant, one is said to have severed the knot (Granthi Bheda occurs).

17. There are two knots. One, the bond of the Nadis and two, egotism. The Self, even though subtle, being tied up in the Nadis, sees the entire gross world.

18. When the light withdraws from all other Nadis and remains in one Nadi alone, the knot is cut asunder and then the light becomes the Self.

19. As a ball of iron heated to a degree appears as a ball of fire, this body heated in the fire of Self-enquiry becomes as one permeated by the Self.

20. Then for the embodied the old tendencies inherent are destroyed, and then that one feels no body and therefore will not have the idea that he is an active agent.

21. When the Self does not have the sense of active agency, karmas (tendencies, actions and their results) etc. are destroyed for him. As there is none other except the Self doubts do not sprout for him.

22. Once the knot is cut, one never again gets entangled. In that state lie the highest power and the highest peace." (9)

(9) Sri Ramana Gita, pp. 38-42.

The original nature that I called the "bright" is exactly what Bhagavan calls the "Atma Nadi" or the "Amrita Nadi and this concept stands as a more detailed and precise equivalent of what I have described. The "bright" is the "Amrita Nadi," the nerve of immortality, the circuit of the current of. immortal joy or the "Atma Nadi" the circuit or nerve or form of the Self, or the circuit of Reality. It is the source, container and form of all energy, centers and currents. The "Amrita Nadi" is the "Form of Reality," founded in the heart and terminated in the aperture of the head. It is the cycle or form of unqualified enjoyment that contains and is the source of all things, all bodies, realms, experiences, states, and levels of being. Its basic nature is unqualified enjoyment or bliss. It is all-powerful Existence or unqualified Presence. It is your very nature at this moment, and it is experienced as such when true understanding arises and becomes the radical premise of conscious life.

There is another series of "Talks with Maharshi" that details this same phenomenon even more clearly.

M. The mind is either located in the brain or is identical with it. You concede it is located in the brain. At the same time you said you are distinct from it though not separate from it. Is that not so? Then let us locate in the body all our thoughts, emotions, passions, desires, attachments, impulses, instincts, in short, all that we are, feel, think and know. Where would you locate the "I", whether the "I" is an idea, thought or feeling?

D. - Feelings, emotions, etc., are all located, that is, said to arise, in the trunk of the body, in the nervous system; but the mind seated in the brain is aware of them. They call it reflex action.

M. - So if you take the "I" as a part of the mind, you would locate it in the brain. But I tell you this "I" is a part indeed but a very radical part of the mind, feeling itself to be distinct from the mind and using it.

D. - I concede that.

M. - Then this "I" is a radical thought, an intimate feeling, a self-evident experience, an awareness that persists even in deep sleep when the mind is not active as in the waking state. According to yourself then, "I", the radical part, must have a locus in the body. (10)

(10) Sat-Darshana Bhashya and Talks with Maharshi, p. xiv.

D. - Can I be sure that the ancients meant this center by the term "Heart?"

M. - Yes, that is so. But you should try to HAVE, rather than to locate the experience. A man need not go to find out where his eyes are situated when he wants to see. The Heart is there ever open to you if you care to enter it, ever supporting all your movements even when you are unaware. It is perhaps more proper to say that the Self is the Heart itself than to say that it is in the Heart. Really, the Self is the Center itself. It is everywhere, aware of itself as "Heart," the Self-awareness. Hence I said "Heart is Thy name." (11)

(11) ibid,. xviii.

D. - When you say that the Heart is the supreme center of the Purusha, the Atman, you imply that it is not one of the six yogic centres.

M. - The yogic chakras counting from the bottom to the top are various centres in the nervous system. They represent various steps manifesting different kinds of power or knowledge leading to the Sahasrara, the thousand-petal led lotus, where is seated the supreme Shakti. But the Self that supports the whole movement of Shakti is not placed there, but supports it from the Heart center.

D. - Then it is different from the Shakti manifestation?

M. - Really there is no Shakti manifestation apart from the Self. The Self has become all this Shakti.

When the yogin rises to the highest center of trance, Samadhi, it is the Self in the Heart that supports him in that state whether he is aware of it or not But if he is aware in the Heart, he knows that whatever states or whatever centres he is in, it is always the same truth, the same Heart, the one Self, the Spirit that is present throughout, eternal and immutable. The Tantra Shastra calls the Heart Suryamandala or solar orb, and the Sahasrara, Chandramandala or lunar orb. These symbols present the relative importance of the two, the Atmasthana and the Shakti Sthana. (12)

.(12) ibid., pp. xviii -xix.

N. - You can feel yourself one with the One that exists; the whole body becomes a mere power, a force current: your life becomes a needle drawn to a huge mass of magnet and as you go deeper and deeper, you become a mere center and then not even that, for you become a mere consciousness, there are no thoughts or cares any longer - they were shattered at the threshold; it is an inundation; you, a mere straw, you are swallowed alive, but it is very delightful, for you become the very thing that swallows you; this is the union of Jeeva with Brahman, the loss of ego in the real Self, the destruction of falsehood, the attainment of Truth. (13)

(13) ibid., p. xxi.

D. - You said "Heart" is the one center for the ego-self, for the Real Self, for the Lord, for all.

M. - Yes, the Heart is the center of the Real. But the ego is impermanent. Like everything else - it is supported by the Heart-centre. But the character of the ego is a link between spirit and matter; it is a knot (granthi), the knot of radical ignorance in which one is steeped. This granthi is there in the "Hrit," the Heart. When this knot is cut asunder by proper means you find that this is the Self's center.

D. - You said there is a passage from this center to Sahasrara.

Yes. It is closed in the man in bondage; in the man in whom the ego-knot, the Hridayagranthi, is cut asunder, a force-current called Amrita Nadi rises and goes up to the Sahasrara, the crown of the head.

D. - Is this the Sushumna?

M. - No. This is the passage of liberation (Moksha). This is called Atmanadi, Brahmanadi or Amrita Nadi. This is the Nadi that is referred to in the Upanishads.

When this passage is open, you have no moha, no ignorance. You know the Truth even when you talk,think or do anything, dealing with men and things. (14)

(14) ibid., xxiii-xxiv.

Maharshi consigns ultimate importance to the Self, which is the Heart. But he makes no radical distinction between it and the Amrita Nadi, the "bright," the Form of Reality that is the ground of all experience. He does not divorce the Self from the world, but sees it as perfectly compatible with life when it exists as the Amrita Nadi. Even so, it is prior to all "spiritual experience," all powers, visions, chakras and all ordinary as well as extraordinary perceptions. It is itself the fundamental power, the Power and Form of Reality.

This Self or Form of Reality is prior to all knowledge, since it depends on no experience or memory to communicate itself to itself. When I first heard of it through Baba he told me that I was not the one who wakes or sleeps or dreams but the One who witnesses these states. But when I experienced that Reality at the Ashram and later realized it fully, it was not even the "Witness." It is so related to present experience, but it is not in itself "Witness," radically distinct from that which is experienced.

Maharshi speaks of it in this larger sense, beyond the state of the "Witness."

D. - Is not the Self the witness only (sakshimatra) ?

M. - "Witness" is applicable when there is an object to be seen. Then it is duality. The Truth lies beyond both . . . . See how the sun is necessary for daily activities. He does not however form part of the world actions; yet they cannot take place without the sun. He is the witness of the activities. So it is with the Self. (15)

(15) Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi (Tiruvannamalai, 1968), p. 440.

Why is the Self described both as the fourth state (turiya) and beyond the fourth state (turiyatita)?

Turiya means that which is the fourth. The experiencers (jivas) of the three states of waking, dreaming and deep sleep, known as visva, taijasa and prajna, who wander successively in these three states, are not the Self. It is with the object of making this clear, namely that the Self is that which is different from them and which is the witness of these states, that it is called the fourth (turiya). When this is known the three experiencers disappear and the idea that the Self is a witness, that it is the fourth, also disappears. That is why the Self is described as beyond the fourth (turiyatita). (16)

(16) The Collected Works of Ramana Maharshi ed. Arthur Osborne (Tiruvannamalai, 1968), p. 74.

I noticed all of these Parallels to my own experience, and I was delighted to see them so boldly asserted in a source outside myself. I could acknowledge Bhagavan to he no other than my very Self, the Presence of reality. And I recommend that his works be studied as a Precise rendition of the path my own life describes.

However, I also acknowledge a difference on the level of communication between Ramana and myself. His own experiences were the result of a spontaneous awakening, like my own. But he went on to tie his path to the ancient, Eastern path of Advaita Vedanta. I must also acknowledge those sources as an expression of the fundamental truth, and Ramana's teaching, indeed, his living Presence, is the highest formulation of that truth. Even so, that truth is the foundation of life, but the form of life can be founded upon that truth in different ways.

The path recommended by Ramana is "Self-enquiry," the intensive enquiry in the heart "Who am I?" or "Whence am I?" His entire concern was to bring people to the conscious realization of the Self in the heart. Thus, his aim was liberation. He speaks from the point of view of the Self as the Self. His path is ideally suited to the ancient forms of culture in which liberation was the goal of existence.

But, from the beginning, I have been founded in the "bright," the Form of Reality, the living form of the Self. I have seen that real existence is apart from every kind of seeking. It is from the beginning radically free of any goal of liberation or salvation. It is unqualifiedly free, present, active, creative and alive. I have seen that life need not be tied to seeking and the pursuit of its own nature as a goal. However, such was not the case with the ancient path, which assumed the dilemma of existence from the beginning.

I have seen in the course of my own life that we must not be founded in seeking but in present understanding. Understanding is itself already founded in the Form of Reality. It is a way of life already, radically founded in the Self, therefore it does not pursue it or assume its absence. Understanding is fulness, already assumed and known. Therefore I have always taken my stand in the "bright," Self as alive, the creative Form or Reality, the Amrita Nadi.

Even Bhagavan at last justifies life as the Amrita Nadi and sees no radical distinction between it and the Self. To be sure, the Self is its heart and foundation, but it is not exclusive of the living Form. Thus, from the beginning not at the end, I found myself in the Form of Reality. The Amrita Nadi became the ground for the actual creation of the path itself, which thus becomes a constant path of understanding and of light. But were I to take my stand in ignorance and seek the Self rather than perform its very activity, I would always be already apart from it. I would have to abandon understanding in order to seer. I would have to teach the search rather than the way that has already discovered.

Thus, even though I discovered great resources in Ramana, I continued to realize my path as a radical path prior to all seeking. It is the path of understanding, and it will be the work of the last chapters of this book to describe that way in detail as practice and as wisdom.

I must speak the truth of Reality for a new generation of the world. My experience of this truth and the present dilemma of the world cannot allow me to speak of a path that is not radically effective, inclusive and true to life as well as the truth itself. It is time for an end to all seeking, all temporary wisdom, all motivating symbols, all exploitation. The present world, unlike the ancient one, has decided radically for life. Therefore, its path and its realization must be unqualifiedly alive. It must not only realize the truth prior to creation, but it must realize the truth of creativity itself.

I point to the ancient truths and to Ramana, to Nityananda and Muktananda. But I do not rely on them for this Reality, nor do I claim to speak for those who hold to the authority of Bhagavan Ramana or any other teacher ashram. I simply acknowledge them and speak for myself. My authority is Reality, and my only resort is understanding. It is in understanding, then, that you must test my words.

Even the perceptions of bliss and the residence in the heart are secondary to understanding. Understanding is available now to all, whereas these experiences belong only to special cases of radical understanding. I have mentioned all these things only to show them in the light of understanding and to point to sources of this same truth. But understanding is the thing itself.

At last I saw that it was not a matter of Shakti experiences or even of Self-experiences, but of understanding itself as a radical path or premise. This way may be accompanied by various phenomena, but only understanding is the intelligence and constant exercise of truth. The only constant possibility in real life is understanding itself. If we cling to any of our experiences, this becomes separative and leads again to dilemma and the avoidance of relationship. Thus, I saw that one must be willing to abandon everything for understanding, making understanding the radical premise and activity in the process of real enquiry: "Avoiding relationship?" This enquiry is in the form of understanding. It is the enquiry of understanding, which is no-seeking, as opposed to Self-enquiry, which is motivated by seeking.

With these last descriptions of the summary observations I made late in 1970 my autobiography comes to an end. But the major work is yet to be accomplished. It has all been a preparation and a justification for the way of understanding which I must now describe. The lessons that provoke what I must now write are all contained in my life as I have told it. The way itself depends on true hearing, which involves true listening or attention. And true hearing must lead to self-observation, understanding and real enquiry. Thus, in the next chapter I propose to describe the "mechanics" of understanding and its practical exercise as enquiry or meditation. And in the final chapter I hope to include a group of essays and short observations that are parts of the continuous unfolding of consciousness once it is founded in understanding. More than ever, you must now read me for your own sake.

Chapter 19
Table of Contents