On the Divine
Person by Frank
Marrero , For Beloved
Avatara Adi Da Love-Ananda,
Samraj, Eleutherios, The Bright Ruchira
Buddha Chapter Two: I Didn't Understand In Santa Rosa, Denise and I and maintained our
religious life through personal disciplines,
nightly meetings, household living, and weekends in
Lake County, either at Talking God Seminary or the
retreat Sanctuary, now called The Mountain of
Attention. I was happy with the trickle I felt from
the Divine Person, though I presumed, of course,
that the little buzz and brilliant insights I was
feeling and receiving were the basic deal. As smart
as I thought I was, it took me three and a half
years to come to a radically different opinion of
this awesome genius. Although I was a dedicated and
honored student of the Teaching, I felt there was
something deep within it I didn't understand. I witnessed amazing events surrounding my
Teacher, even though my capacity for true feeling
was minimal. My doubts of his divinity were
temporarily washed away by these events, but in
lasting or stable terms it was rarely anything
beyond the mental and etheric realms for me. I was
absorbed in bodily, etheric, and mental
fascinations, understandings, and growth. One miraculous event stands out from this
1978-1981 period, as an example of many. In the
summer of 1978, during the famous "ten days of
celebration," three hundred and thirty students
were sitting in Western Face Cathedral practicing
the new devotional cycle and ceremony we had
learned from our Teacher. At first, it was no
different from other sittings-where the internal
chattering and subjective forms bubbled and boiled
with ferocity in my mind, often yielding at last to
a potent clarity. This time however, was different-I felt like
Bubba stepped into me, personally, intimately-and
began to instruct me, step by step, inch by inch,
nuance by nuance, on the process of meditation.
Where I would begin to zoom in good feeling, he
would turn me to understanding and discrimination.
When I began to dazzle in the insights, He would
swell with belovedness and demonstrate the mindless
heart. When I felt love for him, He made sure I
felt the Divine Person, the All-Inclusive One, not
a cultic bond. When I began to yield into any
dazzle or settle for any satisfaction, He would
guide me beyond it, so that my yielding was for God
alone. He seemed to take me by the hand and give me
the most intimate detailed instruction for almost
an hour. I was sublimed, graced, exalted. I sat amazed at
His gift. Then, as I relaxed into the fullness I
had been led to, He rose and departed. After silently receiving our Prasad gift from
His chair, we rose, row by row, and left Western
Face Cathedral. As was the custom we continued to
observe silence to honor the power we received. I
couldn't wait to tell my friends what extraordinary
instruction and subliminity I had received. As soon
as the whispering began, I turned to a friend and
said, "Wow, that was the most incredible sitting I
ever had. I felt like the Master was personally
giving me the most exact instruction about
meditation." My friend excitedly told me he too had received
the exact same gift. Our ears quickly told us
everyone else was relaying the same experience: a
personal tour and intimate technical instruction on
the process of meditation. We all looked up in
amazement that the Divine Person could personally
give the same unique gift to hundreds at once. Three hundred and thirty people sitting silently
for two and one half hours and all had the exact
unique experience. I was amazed and blessed. Another lesson which impressed me greatly from
this period was relative to diet. I had been on a
super-pure diet for about four years, eating mostly
raw foods: sprouts, salads, fruits and fresh
juices. I was very thin, pure, and ascended. The
Master instructed everyone like myself for whom raw
diet was a form of indulgence to take on what He
called "the horse-gut diet." We were to eat several
times a day, and none of the raw and pure diet that
was our preference, but rather potatoes, peanut
butter, breads, and every heavy food we could cram
down our throats. We were to accentuate the
breathing cycle too, especially while eating,
emphasizing reception and releasing obstructions.
It was one of the more difficult disciplines I ever
engaged. I gained 9 pounds in seven days and
forever changed my eating habits. But what was
revealed to me was the illusion that I had been
suffering: that God is pure and ascended. Rather, I
learned bodily how God is love, and love first
incarnates, not ascends. Then everything changed on September 16, 1979.
The Happy Man had taken a new name "Da" Free John,
instead of Bubba. Da means "to give", or "the
giver" in Sanskrit. It is akin to "God is love" in
a single sound. Our Beloved Teacher was "Da" for the first time,
and He began instructing everyone in the
intelligent use of a holy name. Our Beloved Teacher
gave us instructions to clean a grotto where a
creek meets a natural hot spring. The Divine Person
said He was going to initiate His closest disciples
into a new form of practice at the newly created
site. For days we cleaned moss out of deep cracks with
a screwdriver. Other devotees built gates and
ceremonial structures. Others made a stone Chair in
the hillside and others terraced the hillside in
preparation for seating hundreds. Someone got a fire hose and began using extreme
water pressure to get the moss off the rocks.
Better still, I discovered the screwdriver and fire
hose together were synergistic, except one had to
endure a high pressure mudbath. I gathered a large
sheet of moss off the rocks in a muddy whirlwind
when Beloved Da spontaneously came to check on our
progress. I emerged triumphantly from the mud, blinked my
eyes and I was suddenly face to face with the
Divine Person. I looked into His eyes and it was
the first time I was quite sure He was looking at
me, not me in a crowd, me. He laughed at my muddy
spectacle and sent me His loving regard. I can
still see His eyes clearly, laughing from the
bridge. My service was energized! I worked possessed
from then on. After midnight, I was alone, but the
fullness did not subside so I kept working. At the
first signs that the night would soon break, I took
off my clothes and laid down in a warm pool, made a
pillow from two rocks that held my nose and mouth
in the sweet air, and passed out. At dawn I emerged from the holy waters and began
again to prepare the site for the celebration. All
day hundreds of us served the grotto and
surrounding area. At sunset we changed into our
formal clothes and gathered in the grotto. I remember Him coming over the hill as the
evening fell upon us. The twilight purple mountain
framed the sky and highlighted His white formal
clothing. I sat across the grotto far away and I
relaxed into the formality with which the Divine
Person always conducted Himself. I observed myself,
relaxed and opened in a most natural way-as was my
practice. Suddenly, the air became as if thick, and I
could see, literally see from the walking
silhouette, waves of light and energy emanating
from Him. As they washed upon me, my body was
engulfed in a raging sweetness. I watched in awe.
With every wave that washed upon me, I relaxed more
deeply than at any time in my life, each time
deeper than before. Soon my body and life were melted into the
infinite life field. My breaths were waves in the
body of the nameless divinity as I continued to
visually see light emanating from the DivinePerson.
This was not mental insights and spiritual
ascension, peaceful or clear; it was vibrant
transmission of heart-bliss, rapturous baptism. I
was joyfully stunned, then let loose in recognition
of a full fledged God-transmitting Master. I saw that my harbored doubts about the divinity
of the Master were at last only reflections of my
own recoil, and the previous years of doubt were
seen in truth as my own avoidance of relationship.
My contraction thereby dissolved into the Current
of His Force of Love. I experienced the sensation of the mortal lower
coil of my loveless life unfold in bliss. Wave
after wave of joyous Bliss washed across and
through me until my body was One with the manifest
universe and "the passion of galaxies" riddled
across me. The Awe of the procession surrounding the
initiations took place in a timeless time. To say I
was awestruck belittles the majesty with which He
had engulfed me. Then, surprisingly, I felt a similar coil from
the heart upwards unwrinkle and unfold. Soon, I
began to see a light golden mist falling across
everything as the mind followed the body into the
same uninterrupted Vibrance. Now, the fulfillment
of the traditions, whereby the body-mind is made
One with the all-pervading, living divine bathed me
into delicious sublimity. The brightness of angelic
visions completed the grand evolutionary urge. But even the great fulfillment was nothing!!
Nothing compared to the Heart of the God-Man. The
Transmission of Heart-Bliss Outshines all
phenomena, high and low. Now I understood the
Teaching for the first time. I had been given the
fulfillment of all traditional seeking with its
visions and blisses and it was insignificant
compared to the awesome divinity of His Loving
Company. Dissolved and exploded in the love-bliss
of the Heart, I shouted thankfulness eternally
again and again. Finally, I fully understood it
when He said the way of the Heart is greater than
the path of evolution; finally I understood the way
of Satsang exceeds all else; finally I was
available to the method of the Siddhas, I felt a
vibrant relationship with the Divine Power and
Person. After the Master left, I slowly returned to my
former egoic self, but not quite-I was truly
impressed. My former consolations of mentality and
insight had been revealed in the Fire of the Heart
and I laughed anew at the His saying, "An insight a
day keeps the Guru away." I continued to see and feel Master Da in a new
light. Though naive and immature, there was no
doubt in my being about the divinity of the giver,
Da. I threw myself into the community of
practitioners in the service of children, since
that was where I belonged. I served with Peter
Churchill to my great delight and good fortune. The
former misconceptions I had had about growing up
and what children need were dispelled. My
misconceptions were finally seen by me as the
'philosophy' and idealism of my immature
adaptation. Master Da's wisdom on the stages of
life and particularly the stages of childhood
served me potently and gave me a more realistic eye
on my own human development. I received His transmission again and again in
formal and happenstance meetings. This included
meditation and also "Darshan" or "sighting" of the
Divine Person-an open-eyed demonstration of
divinity by the Great One, the Maha-Siddha,
Great-Power in Person. I often felt sublime and
fiery force emanating from Him; when I would open
my eyes during meditation my perceptions would
often float through distant times, mystic states,
former masters and realizers, and excruciating
self-knowledge. When I shared my experiences, they
were suprisingly common. Many friends I had known from Tennessee became
interested in the Teaching and were coming one by
one, to the Master's Company. A couple from
Tennessee were getting married and asked me to be
the priest, since I was formally religious and all.
Egoically stroked, I was delighted. The day of the wedding came and on that day I
happened to be featured in the newspaper for my
sprout business. I got on my best preacher clothes
and set about to perform the ceremony. Unbeknownst
to me, Master Da was shown the newspaper article
just about the time the wedding started. I didn't
know what was going on but started experiencing the
transmission of divine power and extreme
enjoyment. It was similar to receiving His direct gaze
during sitting Occasions with Him. Enjoyment and
force bubbled out of me and the wedding was
transformed into His divine Play and Enjoyment.
Later we found out about His Regard at that time.
Well, everyone had one hell of a good time, which
is just how some weddings go. For me, it was
miraculous, blissful. This phenomena of His
powerful Regard to "distant" devotees is not
rare! He spoke of this phenomena as reported in Vision
Mound Vol.2 #5, "Anyone who comes close to Me in space is My
vision. People come and sit with Me, and I dream
their dreams all night. They wake up in the morning
and they feel good, because I have lived their
dreams. Everyday I live your dreams. If I give any
one of you My attention in mere thought, I absorb
all of your psyche, all of your suffering, all of
your diseases. This is literally true. People do
not understand that such a process is possible in
human time. And yet this is My experience
exactly." Of course there's the other side of spiritual
stuff, like just exactly how am I an asshole? What
is the fine script of self I justify my separation
by? Do I have a realistic eye about myself? Can I
see myself as others do? Exactly what do I do to
get attention? Can I see my lovelessness, my egoic
game, and how I delude myself? Can I see my own
contracting, my own withdrawal, my own avoidance of
relationship? Damn thing is, it's true, the more dark I can
stand with, the more I understand myself and my
refusal to love. Instead of reacting to my reaction
and compounding the darkness, I relax in acceptance
and understanding, and soon true happiness dawns.
Heart Servant Da describes awakened teachers as the
noon sun, the shadowless Presence that shines into
all the dark places-one must put up with all those
revealed squiggling worms when enjoying full
sunlight. One other teaching demonstration I am most
grateful for from this period is a consideration of
sexuality. In the summer of 1981, during the week,
the Master worked with a small circle of the more
advanced practitioners, the sanctuary residents,
taking them through considerations and instruction.
Then we lay members would meet in similarly sized
circles and duplicate, as best that we could, the
Master's consideration. The background discipline for lay members was a
sexual requirement that you and your partner would
engage each other sexually for at least 90 minutes
every other day for a month. The sanctuary
residents' discipline was three hours every night.
At first this sounded great, but I was unable to
conduct that much sexual juice. I learned to
persist beyond my limitations and get my little
pee-pee up for maybe twenty minutes of in and
out. I learned a great deal about myself. One
important lesson was persistence in sexual play in
spite of disinterest; of assuming responsibility
for conducting great life force, in spite of
disinclinations of all kinds. I learned how I was
not sexually free. On several successive weekends we learned what
the A team had learned and followed their guidance.
Couples exchanged hours listing and describing
everything they disliked about the other, then
retired together and sexed for at least an hour.
Couples listed others they had sexual feelings for,
etc., etc. The teaching about couple's limitations,
sexual limitations, and feeling contractions gained
harsh reality. The experiment was brilliant,
engaging, helpful. The book Four Fundamental
Questions permeated the time and Compulsory Dancing
is the book of Master Da's spiritual talks during
this period. This teaching demonstration on sexual
and feeling limitations would serve as the
foundation to a deeper and harsher
self-understanding still to come.
I bow down to That Most Beautiful Form, the
Master of Discrimination, the Master of Understanding, the Light of
lights, Who is the Light to those who need Light, Who is the Realizer in
all those who Realize. May You be Pleased to Take Your Seat in my heart
at all times. May You ever Dwell in my heart. 75. I bow down to the Master, Who is Love-Bliss, the
Form of Happiness. In His Mere Presence the mind dissolves in Transcendental Consciousness and Radiant
Love-Bliss. 76. Let these heart prayers go to my Master, Who is
always Floating in the Native Happiness of the Heart, even as
the Liberating Word of my Master comes to me from His Eternal
Heart-Blessing. Chapter
Two: I Didn't Understand Chapter
Three: The Secret Place Chapter
Four: Welcome to the Gom-Boo Chapter Six: The Cult of
Pairs Revisited Chapter Seven: The Thief
Chapter Eight: The Storm of
the Century Chapter Nine: The Christmas
Miracle
Table of Contents
MENU
| Home
| Intro
| Beezone
Articles | Adi
Da Articles | Tradition
Articles | All
Articles | email
"The perfect among the
sages is identical with Me. There is absolutely no difference between
us"
Tripura
Rahasya, Chap
XX, 128-133
All copyright materials are used under
authority of the Fair Use statute.
(United
State Code, Title 17)
Fair
Use
