
The Future, the past and the Presence of Spiritual
Practice Sadhana or spiritual practice begins in that place where
you make this knot, the self contraction, this fundamental
discomfort. It has the characteristic of fear and you
basically experience that fear as a kind of anxiety in the
pit of your stomach. If you are not really in touch with this
self-contraction, you at times may experience the anxiety
that is constantly underlying and motivating your behavior,
your moment to moment existence. With this anxiety, you
build all kinds of stuff on top of it and desensitize
yourself to it. This self-contraction is the quality of
anxiety, of your moment to moment existence and it is a
stressful anxiety. You may want to forestall the observation of this
uncomfortable feeling, that realization. But you can't begin
real spiritual life unless you start to observe and
understand the mechanism of it. But once you do and get bit,
that's it! Unless you find yourself out you will be
continually running from it, covering it over with all kinds
of enquires, philosophies, psychological investigations and
all other mental means of avoiding something deep in your
psyche. Once you do observe this fundamental contraction,
then you can't escape it, and that's when sadhana really
begins. That's when sadhana starts becoming profoundly
effective. Adi Da Samraj, unpublished talk
1974
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