THE "BRIGHTENING" WAY TALK SERIES - The Yajna Discourses of Santosha Adi Da (1995-1996) - Gathering "Considerations" with Beloved Adi Da Samraj, at Sugar Bowl Ski Resort and the Manner of Flowers, December 29 and 30 1995, and January 3, 1996.




The Yajna Discourses of Santosha Adi Da (1995-1996)


The Absorptive Samadhi of Devotion to Me

A Gathering "Consideration" with Adi Da Samraj

Sugar Bowl Ski Resort, California

December 29, 1995

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I wanted to talk to you about what has been happening in my life. One of the things that I've been feeling very profoundly since You've returned to California, and actually more and more just in these last couple of weeks-and I think this is true of me, but I also feel its true of many individuals-is that You have Given us everything, and that we have really seen what we are doing, and You have Given great understanding. You have shown just about everything that's possible at a certain level, and the futility of that has become very apparent. And it feels like we are entering into a new moment with You, coinciding with the establishment of true Hermitage. This is the great Calling. As You have said, there are certain signs that have to come into existence, and one of those is the Lay Renunciate Order. I feel the urgency of that also-

ADI DA SAMRAJ: [blandly] "Urgency of that also." [laughter] [Beloved laughs.]

DEVOTEE: He has a way with words.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Ah. Good. Very boringly put, Dennis. You really got the "consideration" started. [laughter] Well, that's good. I'm almost ready to "consider" something about that. [laughter]

DEVOTEE: Beloved, what Dennis is saying-a lot of devotees have been saying the same thing. Its only by Your Grace that we can transcend ourselves. I really feel the miracle of what You've created. And along the lines of what You described last night in terms of asking You, being fully submitted to You as the Master-it isn't a matter of anything else. It is a matter of taking full responsibility. And in doing that, an LRO is created. You recently asked us to submit our names to You and ask You what our practice is. Its not a matter of us somehow monkeying ourselves up to becoming LRO or level 0. We feel how nothing more has to be done except we must give ourselves to You. And that's what Your devotees are feeling tonight.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Just about as boring as Dennis. [laughter]

DEVOTEE: We collaborated on this, Beloved. [laughter]

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Relative to the LRO-I don't know what you're going to propose to Me tomorrow, but it cant simply be another restatement of the gathering of the insiders who are maintaining the status quo. That's another reason why I said that the LRO must be made of those level 0 and beyond. There must be real maturity and profound practice.

You, Brian, and Dennis too, are talking about "Narcissus" and how, as "Narcissus", or the ego, you're helpless, bound by your tendencies, and so forth. Its true enough, but that's not an expression of hearing.

My discovery of "Narcissus", the nature of the ego, or the nature of bondage, was liberating. I didn't simply notice something and then thereafter simply have some description of Myself that explained why I was so bound. The understanding, the realization was utterly transforming, liberating. It wasn't, "Meaculpa, I'm the ego, I'm Narcissus, I am bound, I am all kinds of tendencies, I am boring, I'm limited and a seeker and I cant get out of it."

The understanding of "Narcissus" is not a self-description. Its a liberating understanding. To come to this understanding doesn't merely give you a means to describe yourself and your bondage. That understanding itself is profoundly clarifying, and its coincident with self-transcendence.

If someone has heard Me, they would speak in different terms than the two of you just did. You could perhaps say some other things, but the language that you have used in this conversation so far is not the language of hearing. Its something of the language of having observed yourself, experienced your life in bondage, and you are somewhat tired of that and see what a bind it is.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, that's part of it, but I think the thing that is more dominant is the matter of the attraction to You and the liberation of that attraction, and the movement to be in Communion with You, feeling You.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Its about actually being in Communion with Me, though. To do the sadhana of Ishta-Guru-Bhakti, it turns into Samadhi. Its not merely to feel a little bit freed up on your social personality. Its to enter into this Samadhi that is My Condition. Ultimately its a matter of Identifying with Me Perfectly in the sadhana of the "Perfect Practice". In the earlier stages its the Samadhi of moving beyond self in Communion with Me, an absorptive Samadhi, rather than the Samadhi of Identification. But it is Samadhi. It is to enter into the unconditional Domain of Being. It is not an ordinary state. It is not so you can meditate twice a day and relax more and feel refreshed and become more functional in your daily life. There is that of course, but it is not merely that. Samadhi is a state coincident with Reality. Its a different Domain of Existence, a Free Domain of Existence. Having entered into it, then more and more profoundly you devote life to that , rather than to ordinary purposes. You definitely would still be involved in human life, of course, in all functional terms and serve and so forth, but none of that is an end in itself. Its not that the Way is purposed towards being a better social personality, more benign in social relations with others and so forth. Its not merely a matter of enjoying life more. Its a matter of enjoying the Divine Condition instead.

So for those who grow profoundly, you become serious about Realization of the Divine Condition. There is the motive to be purified, to be simplified, the motive to acquire even more time for this Contemplation. The community, then, becomes a cooperative community rather than being just a social order. It becomes a gathering in which everyone helps everyone else maximize the effectiveness of their sadhana and the time they have for profound Contemplation.

Without this Divine Impulse to Realize, this impulse to Samadhi, religious life becomes rather conventional and socially oriented. It is organized around the first three stages of life. And that's another way of describing what has been going on with the community such as it is. It is not a gathering purposed to Realize Me. There are words to that effect, but there isn't a quality, a disposition in your living where this is so. You are all struggling with life-business matters instead of handling life-business. You are all using more and more time to seek ordinary ends, ordinary conditions-functional, practical, and relational-basically the domain of "money, food, and sex". "Money, food, and sex" occupations are not Samadhi. They are organism conditions.

So for there to be a Lay Renunciate Order, it cant just be the group of people who do the principal cultural service and so on, labeled as "the LRO" because they do that. Those people could just as well be in the Lay Congregationist Order. Just to serve in that capacity, in others words, is not itself an indication of profound practice. In fact, if you look at the quality of the gathering served by those very people, the service of those people is simply reinforcing the disposition of the gathering to be focused in the first three stages of life, the egoic disposition, the organism disposition, the ordinariness, looking for various kinds of social results-whether it be the intimate society of the emotional-sexual relations or the larger society of friendships, family, and community.

The motive to reduce the religious life to such terms is ingrained in you all-politically, socially, culturally and by your religious experience, by upbringing and so on. Common religiosity is social religiosity. It is purposed to improve the social personality sign in human beings. It not about God-Realization. Common religion is not about God-Realization. It is basically a political and social matter just determined to govern human behavior according to moral principles, which ultimately are legal and political principles and so forth to make you all better citizens, productive citizens, benign characters in relation to others.

DEVOTEE: That's exactly where I think our orientation has been. I think we've been trying to-

ADI DA SAMRAJ: You are all over the place relative to the foundation conditions of practice, even in functional, practical and relational terms. In other words, you haven't yet completed the process of adaptation that could justify 0.0 as your level of practice. And then in addition-I've made these observations of all of you numerous times, I've given you notes about these things, so its not anything new-to that area of handling life-business to complete the foundation adaptation relative to money, food, and sex, functional, practical, and relational matters and so on, I have not been observing the true signs of Ishta-Guru-Bhakti, that true Yoga, true self-surrendering and self-forgetting, by granting Me all the faculties moment to moment. Ishta-Guru-Bhakti is a profound Yoga. It is not just a matter of being a fan of Mine or granting some love-feelings towards Me and feeling some love-feelings from Me. That's not Ishta-Guru-Bhakti-or it is merely an aspect of it and not really one of the most profound aspects of it. The real Yoga of Ishta-Guru-Bhakti is as I've said. You grant Me the four principal faculties moment to moment. It is a self-surrendering, fully self-forgetting matter to the degree of Communion with Me, and therefore you are involved in absorptive Samadhi.

So what I am observing about the gathering in general is that you do not truly practice Ishta-Guru-Bhakti and you have not yet handled your life-business.

DEVOTEE: I know in my own case, I haven't applied for the LRO because you have made it very clear what the process is for LRO practice.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: But I have been making that clear for quite a long time. One would expect that if you were as serious as you just said you are, that you would have gotten your act together by now and not just be coming to Me twenty-one years later or whatever and just starting to feel a little serious or getting a little bored with your act, that kind of thing. That's not hearing. That's not renunciation, that's not great devotion, that's not maturity, that's not Samadhi.

DEVOTEE: I feel, Beloved, how even handling the matter of life-business is Given to me as a Gift of Grace by You. Because, for instance, six months ago I was embroiled in my relationships to my family in Ireland, to my children, and I felt it would be a good long time before I could handle all of that, and my health. And I felt there were so many things hanging out. And I feel that through the process of Your Instruction that You made it possible for me to literally handle all those things.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Yes, of course. In your case, and in the case of many, many others-at least those who responded to My Instructions, and did what I told them to do. But there is a lot more for you to do and a lot more for everyone else to do also. It is said that Shirdi Sai Baba once remarked that he gives people what they want in order that they will want what he wants to give them. I deal with you all in reality to serve you according to your readiness, your seriousness, and what's hanging out at the moment.

For twenty-three years I've been working on such service to you all. All you've really wanted however is some sort of influence on My part relative to these rather ordinary things. And on top of that you want Me to be ordinary too and be sarvadhikari and manage the religion business. You even tend to think of Me as some kind of a householder, an ordinary man in some basic terms-not noticing the difference between Me and all of you. You say things like "You are the Avadhoot, the Atiashrami, Crazy-Wisdom Master, Tantric Sannyasin" and so on-you use these descriptions because I have communicated them to you My Self. You don't really have a sense of what it means except that it is true. In My life-mode, these are precise descriptions as a matter of fact.

You want Me to be satisfied with the social religiosity game and just be a slightly unconventional worldly person, even an ordinary householder. So in other words, not only are you all persisting in the common mode, but you even interpret Me as such. You not only interpret Me as such, you oblige Me to live as such by confining Me in an environment and circumstance that forbids My need to Work, prevents My Work. You give Me nobody to Work with, in fact, except perhaps if I will comment endlessly on your ordinary life-business stuff. And of course I do that because that is your current level of practice, that's your current sign. I cant Give you any more than that even though I am here to Give you everything. I cant effectively Give you anything more than you will receive.

I am not suggesting that there is no seriousness, no devotion, no good heartedness, and no service. I am not saying there is none of that. There is a lot of that - and the ability for the gathering to survive has been magnified profoundly in the last few years. So yes, I could say lots of positive things about you all and I hope you know that I do so. But by comparison to what the real sadhana is and its true advancement toward Realizing Me, its just an ordinary religion business, even a relatively unsuccessful one.

What time is it?

DEVOTEE: Midnight.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Midnight already? This is actually New Years Eve. Midnight. First of the year in Fiji-at 0 AM. By the time we celebrate it here in California, it will have been January first in Fiji for almost a whole day. Being Fijian then, its New Years Eve to Me. [laughter]

DEVOTEE: Beloved, did your family celebrate New Years?

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Well, yes-My parents really weren't party-goers or anything like that. But I do remember when I was a little boy people going from house to house in the neighborhood, having a few drinks with people around the neighborhood. But basically they weren't party-goers or anything like that. So New Years Eve wasn't a party night or anything. Wed stay up until midnight and hit pots and pans from the kitchen, and clap them with spoons outside the door. And that was that. And New Years Day, the relatives would come around and have a special meal.

DEVOTEE: Did You eat a traditional meal with Your family on New Years Day?

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Yes. I think it was generally ham, like a baked Virginia ham.

DEVOTEE: Lima beans?

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Yes, lima bean casserole.

DEVOTEE: Black-eyed peas?

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Maybe sometimes, but you had to have lentils, lentil soup, even at midnight on New Years Eve. The lentils represent coins, money, wealth, prosperity for the New Year.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I really enjoyed the new Knee of Listening . I enjoyed the completeness and fullness of it. I was wondering if Your fullest edition of The Knee of Listening was even more complete and more full?

ADI DA SAMRAJ: This is it, this is the ultimate edition of it.

There are things I added to this new edition. And then I eliminated a long section of Essays-not that they wont be published, but they will be published in another form with other Essays from that period, sometime in the future. But they didn't seem to be necessary to The Knee of Listening . The basic interest in it was the Autobiography and some basic "considerations" relative to meditation and so on.

DEVOTEE: The thing that was most inspiring to me was Your intention towards the discovery of the nature of Reality, and Your unwavering devotion to just that as the only approach in life.


So, what were we talking about?

DEVOTEE: We were talking about the Lay Renunciate Order "consideration".

ADI DA SAMRAJ: The Lay Renunciate Order, or any renunciates in My Company-I'm there to do them some good, obviously-have to do service for the sake of others. You must be one-pointed in that. Fidelity to Me in devotional terms must be absolute, and the sign of fidelity in their life-practice must be unwavering. They must be totally stable in their emotional-sexual situation and so on, and not just bound to it in the householders sense. It must be Yoga.

So, members of the Lay Renunciate Order who are involved in intimacy are not householders. They are Yogis, male or female. So there is nothing that they are up to in emotional-sexual terms that's not about Realizing Me. You cant have any people in the Lay Renunciate Order who are bound to their intimate. Renunciates don't have time for that sort of thing.

The Lay Renunciate Order has to make a difference , not just be people who can practice now or soon at level two. They have to be in place in the regions, in the mission, in the culture altogether, and the community, and make a difference.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I really felt, over the last couple of months of Your "consideration" about the Lay Renunciate Order, that we have to demonstrate to You, as You just said. You've said many times that we have to do You some good, that it has to be something You tangibly feel in a persons practice and in terms of their service, where it actually affects You Personally.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Absolutely. I must be pleased by them. Why should that be remarkable to you? You all tend to think in "religion business" terms, in which I am kind of an honorific character in your midst. But really the culture of practice is something you are all doing with one another in your self-"guruing" game. That I should approve of, or have to be pleased by somebody before they could become a renunciate is sort of alien to your entire character as devotees of Mine. When you're abstracted from Me, You don't understand the Way in terms of being pleasing to Me and proving the Way in My face.

But that's the way it is, and that's the way it will always be-even after the physical life-time of this Body. There will be those in place who will make these kinds of judgments, and they are the ones to whom you will be accountable. The Way will never become simply some abstract self-"guruing" game, in which you put badges on yourselves, and so on. You have to prove it to your Master. And the Masters going to test you. That's the way it will always be. That's the nature of the Way of the Heart. So, if you fail My tests over and over and over again, don't expect Me to smile at your name on the Lay Renunciate Order list.

What I have suggested to you in the past is to locate individuals who have the most serious signs, disposition, intention, and cultivate them by making them Lay Renunciate Order applicants-and, therefore, part of a program of preparation, an intensive of study, practice "considerations", service, and so on. So that, before all that long, I would have an actual Lay Renunciate Order.

I don't know what the state of this particular approach is now, but there is supposed to be a cultural mechanism in the gathering in which people of the greatest seriousness are organized into a program of preparation for the Lay Renunciate Order. And its supposed to be done intensively. There is no way an actual Lay Renunciate Order can come about in any future time without that program. Without it, everyone sort of falls into the "well make you one of us" kind of world of householders, first three stages of life religionists.

The Way of the Heart is about direct relationship to Me. Each one of you must cultivate your relationship to Me directly. I am the Measure of the Way. I am the Measure of your practice. You must come to Me directly through your relationship to Me, and by obedience to My Word-and not obedience to some pseudo sub-culture revision of the Way that justifies nominal practice and justifies more and more time in practice.

I was telling you about paperweights the other night, and a particular glass artist. If you meet this artist, he's just another ordinary guy, and you'll talk ordinary with him. What's interesting about him? Well, its there in his work. That unique sensibility that's there. As a social personality, he's just ordinary Joe like everybody else. Its only in the place where he throws all that away and exploits his unique sensibility and the motive to go beyond himself that he's really alive and that he's interesting.

So it is with devotees. You're not interesting to Me in your boring, social, friendly disposition. There's nothing for Me to do with it-just sitting around listening to it turns Me off. It doesn't allow Me to do any Work with you. You haven't Realized Me absolute, so there obviously are limitations in your practice-so that's what I ought to be dealing with.

DEVOTEE: Absolutely, Beloved.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Getting at whatever it is that limits your practice and advancement. That's what you ought to do given the opportunity to communicate with Me face-to-face, you see. That's what you ought to be doing every day of your life in practice-really being on that edge, profoundly engaging this Way.

I go out and sit in front of Seventh Gate or walk down toward the Bath House, and devotees sit alongside the road. Its just a moment, and so they get to do a loving, devotional sign at Me, and they look for Me to show some similar attitude toward them. And that's about that. Now, its not a negative. Its just that its not enough. And, if you're willing to settle for that, I suggest you get a puppy dog or something. That's not it, or its just a minimal, rather ordinary aspect of it at any rate.

I love you all. I love My children and their intimates. But ultimately that's not going to make any difference. I can express a social loving sign and so forth and its certainly true. But it is not about Realization. But it is something that is, it seems, enough for most people, even for devotees of Mine-a kind of a social feeling of putting out some love emotion and receiving it back. It seems to be the whole ball of wax.

That is the universal conventional religiosity I was talking to you about earlier-as if that's it. Where did you get that from, anyway? Christianity? Judaism? It was some conventional religious upbringing. Most of you in this room are by birth either Christians or Jews, or otherwise influenced by such a cultural point of view. And the basic message, everything boiled down, reduced, when all is said and done, is "I love you, you love me". Even though, basically, your ego is fiercely struggling to survive and fulfill your search and so forth, nonetheless, insofar as you have a religious feeling for a moment, its just this little bit of love contact. What does that have to do with Divine Self-Realization?

DEVOTEE: Nothing.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: And in the end what good will it have done you apart from the ordinary purposes that it serves? I'm not cynical about it. It is something I do too. But its not the end of it. Its a natural human expression and you should be free to do it. But its not God-Realization. Its not Liberation. Its not Freedom. But for conventional religionists, which this gathering has tended to become, basically that's about it. Live the ego, live the egoic life and its search, and you can generate some sort of love-feeling together-and that's it.

Its like in common society, the holiday-Hanukkah, Christmas-ceremony is: Buy presents, anticipate it, give the presents, feel love-stuff. Within seven days, you're back to angular, competitive, loveless life. Its a ceremony between Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. There's generally drinking on both occasions and the emotional quality during Christmas or Hanukkah is one thing, and its the exact opposite on New Years. Its a different ceremony entirely. But its a ceremony that has to do with this business of conventional religiosity. Its what you all have been suffering for. You don't seem to remember, so readily, the pain of natural existence, egoic existence, conditional existence, the unsatisfactoriness of it.

What else?

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I feel that I'm one of these people who constantly am not trustable in my practice in relationship to You.


DEVOTEE: I have proved that to You over and over again.


DEVOTEE: And in Your conversation last night, I felt utterly convicted of this criticism of someone who refuses to be Mastered, and at the same time I have a great desire to serve You, to be in Your LRO, to move on and to do whatever it takes to do that.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Then you do what I tell you to do! I am not going to tell you to do something weird, because I'm amused and aberrated. I tell you what is necessary for your practice, if you're serious. Hm? I want to tell somebody very personal things to do, very specific things to do, if they approach Me really as My devotee, and ask Me for My instructions relative to everything, and they are going to do it-not just get Me to talk at them and then pick and choose about it, or abandon the agreement with Me, and all that sort of stuff. So I will instruct people personally, if they really are My devotees, you see. And they must prove that is true, first.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, that brings up, for me, the whole "consideration" that our relationship with You has the force of a vow.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Not "has the force of a vow"-there is a practical, technical, literal, sign-on-the-dotted-line vow. That's how you're supposed to live. Whatever it takes to fulfill that vow is what you're supposed to do. That's what makes your life sadhana. Its not something that you put up for a vote to your ego every day. It is a sacred obligation. And if you violate it, you violate your relationship with Me, you undermine your practice. And then that must be purified.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I have been feeling, quite a lot since You've been back, how much my relationship with Joan has to change, and how much I have to bring the level of practice that I cant possibly bring unless its real and true of me.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Very nice, Dennis. What do you have to do about it, then? What aren't you doing-or what are you doing that's not right?

DEVOTEE: Well, I think that I'm too passive. Also, Beloved, I remember You actually saying something once, about my choices of women. And one of the things I realized was that if I didn't move into relationship with somebody where I could be completely overwhelmed and in love, that it was so apparent to me that I was never going to do that sadhana. I was never going to do the sadhana of understanding my sexuality, growing in human terms, and learning what it is to be a loving person. At least that's the way it seems to me.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Yes, that's good, Dennis. Now you're a loving person?

DEVOTEE: [laughing] I don't know about that, Beloved.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: It doesn't get you into the big time.

DEVOTEE: No, it doesn't.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: But there is some kind of growth in it, in ordinary terms. Positive enough.

DEVOTEE: Yes, and then there's a limitation in that also.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Its not God-Realizing, but its good growth in the third stage of life.

DEVOTEE: And there is a real limitation in that, too.


DEVOTEE: I don't think I could have come to the point of really becoming sensitive to that limitation without actually being in a relationship where I was really in love and there was that kind of energy there.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: In the beginning of relationships often there is a lot of passion and so forth. Then, over time, because of their individual games and so on, they shut it down in various ways and dissociate, don't even use what's there. They forget about it, complicate it so profoundly, that then maybe they think they have to be with somebody else.

You have to remember the reasons for the choice and restore the essence of what was right and positive and interesting and loving about it. And then, having done that, you have to start doing Yoga time, because no matter how good it is in ordinary human terms, its not God-Realization, its not Liberation, its not Freedom, its not Truth, its not burning this "Narcissus".

DEVOTEE: I've come to be sensitive to that in a way that I've never been sensitive before. So I feel the limitation in my relationship as a conventional relationship. I mean, everything that is conventional about it is something that is my responsibility.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: You're responsibility is to go beyond all limitations and Realize Me.

DEVOTEE: Right. And that's the Gift, Beloved, I feel that You've Given to me.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Well, its an opportunity which you participate in.

DEVOTEE: Right. And the force of my practice at this time is being so profoundly attracted to You that it becomes natural to conform everything to the actual process of Realizing You. And I don't even feel it as some struggle. Its more a matter of deepening my Communion with You and allowing the force of that to inform everything else that I do.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: There are all kinds of technical matters involved in true intimacy-sexual Yoga, and so on, and transcending the "bonding" bondage. But its not a matter of cooling down, dissociating, becoming frigid, impotent, uninterested, unloving.

So a Yogic intimacy is not about dissociation, loss of the "in-love" basis and pleasure of company. So you don't have to remove that. I'm not talking about that.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I understand. One of the things that I mentioned last night was that I felt my relationship was a Gift from You.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: But there are all kinds of ways to use it, you see.

DEVOTEE: That's true, that's true.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Its not a matter of succumbing to the ordinary life-factors at all. Its not a matter of dissociating from them either. Its a matter of opening the other end of it, and pour through it into the Domain of Realization, through this devotion to Me, and all the disciplines associated with it so that the positive life-qualities remain, but they are not a thing in and of themselves, and they're not binding. They are an open-ended vehicle of Realization, you see. You don't allow yourself to be limited by the qualities themselves. You submit to Me through them and beyond them and live a true devotional and Yogic life.

Now that is possible for My devotees. This is why I've Indicated this is one of the ways to do sadhana in My Company authentically. But you tend to delude yourselves about it. You don't open the other end of it. You don't handle the business between you and get it straight, loving, interested, and serving one another. You react. You stand back. You indulge yourself. You do all these things instead. You don't really do the sadhana of Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga moment to moment, including in every moment of intimacy, sexuality, all the rest of it, you see. They become things in and of themselves. You don't embrace the constant discipline of Ishta-Guru-Bhakti and the discipline of Yoga. You indulge in the things themselves. And then you want to say to Me, though, "Thank You very much for this relationship. Its really serving my practice. Blah-blah-blah." But its really not so. To make it so is a great discipline.

In the traditions most often, because it requires so much, its been denied as a possibility. Therefore in at least the dominant force of the Great Tradition-its not exclusively so, but in the general tradition-if you're serious about Realization, you have to dissociate from these kinds of circumstances, even from the world altogether, and from emotional-sexual intimacies and so forth. There are some who have said "not so", and have done otherwise. But compared to the mass of the Great Tradition, they are a relative few.

My Communication to you, Revelation to you, is that you can Realize Me in the circumstance of intimacy and functional life and so forth, but it is a profound discipline. You must understand the difference between living that discipline in such circumstances and indulging in your karmic possibilities.

And so, Dennis, what are you going to do differently?

DEVOTEE: Well, Beloved the thing that I . . . nothing new that I haven't known, or You've even addressed Me on many years ago. I feel that I have to be more demanding. I have to be more manly.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: You have to do Yoga, Dennis, Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga moment to moment-Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga plus sexual Yoga and sexual embrace-Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga plus all the real fulfillment of true intimacy, to go beyond the bondage of intimacy. Its not just a matter of being more manly or demanding or straightforward with your intimate. Its the whole ball of wax, the real practice stuff. Now you may imagine, well its easier for Me, because when I engage in intimate embrace, I don't have to resort to Me, [laughter] add that element. You just don't understand. Effectively I do have to resort to Me. I Am Infinitely, Utterly, Inherently Resorted to Me. So truly it is the same for My devotees, then.

You're just lazy and self-indulgent about it, Dennis, indulging in the modifications and the organism self-fulfillments. You have a positive intimacy as the context of your practice, fine. But you have to do Yoga.

DEVOTEE: Tonight, through Your Grace, Beloved, I have had real moments of practicing Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Its not enough. It has to be constant.

DEVOTEE: I know. I know.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: It has to be moment to moment.

DEVOTEE: That's what I feel. Its the whole practice.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: No compromise, no mercy, no prisoners-moment to moment.

DEVOTEE: You have to constantly break the contract.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: That's Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga moment to moment. And then all the associated disciplines every moment, no compromise.

How old is it now?

DEVOTEE: I'm 00.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: 00 years old in the body and still bargaining about sadhana. Put in another ten years of the same, and you'll tell Me, well, you're too old now, you have to settle for it, you got some basic practice there and you hope for the best. You'll always come up with another argument with each decade of age.

You all are also, in your worldliness, coupled with the psychology of age. Life is measured by decades, basically, and seven years too. But its measured by these increments of time, and with each such segment of time, especially these ten-year cycles, looking at it in ordinary human terms, you feel obliged to exhibit certain signs in your life, in your manner, your disposition, your presumptions, your participation socially, on and on. Its a whole complex of changes. Every year with a zero at the end of it is another crisis-00, 00, 00, 00, 00, 00, 00, and so on. Each is a measure of a profound psycho-physical change you're supposed to be obliged to go through. Therefore, you get into your 00s, you're supposed to be well middle-aged and calmed down, basically not even have much sex drive anymore, be entirely different than you were at 00 or 00. That's just part of the fulfillment of the doctrine of organisms.

For the Yogi, it makes no difference whatsoever.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, You are such an example of that.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: There's no such psychology. There's nothing like that to be fulfilled. Hm? I'm the same Yogi now I was when I was 00. Oh, the body goes through some changes, fine. And then you compensate for it Yogically. You deal with it. But you don't have to live the psychology of social aging.

DEVOTEE: I felt that, Beloved, very strongly since You've been here in California. One of the things that I've really felt is how You haven't changed, You haven't aged at all. You are still the same Great, Fiery, Free Yogi. And I felt like Your return here this time has kind of gotten me back to my youthfulness, that there was a kind of a settling, even an assumption of age that isn't true in practice in relationship to You.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Not if you really do it. But understand just as the ego is intact in any moment you neglect to go beyond it, so this psychology of aging is likewise, and all the other social rituals. Only a true Yogi, moment to moment real Yogi, transcends all of this.

Be that. That's a great discipline. You have to get really serious about it, and not just roll the lore around in your head now, pretending that you're not doing aging and limitations and conventional disposition in intimacy, and so forth. You are doing these things. That's not Yogi. That's the ordinary man that sort of likes the lore of great practice and Realization, and is sort of a fan of it. But in terms of real practice, its far less than that.

DEVOTEE: I feel that during this time, I've been so attracted to You, so moved to be with You and to practice intensely that I just kick the body-mind. Id rather just throw the body-mind down, and not give it a quarter, not treat it as some precious thing.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: For the hearer, there's simply the core of practice that deals directly with egoity. Everything follows from that. Until you've heard Me, you're not dealing with egoity directly. You're dealing with all the peripheral stuff. And that's not it. That's not Yoga.

To do the true Yoga of this Way, you have to be dealing with the core of it. It requires true hearing, true seeing, fundamental self-understanding, a profound central disposition. To just deal piecemeal with this, that, and the other thing, still wears you out. You are refreshed only by the transcendence of egoity. And then all the periphery, all the associations, are addressed spontaneously by that disposition.

DEVOTEE: Well, Beloved, that's what I felt in Your Company during this time. I really feel my impulse to Realize You. I feel its a matter of just keeping my attention with You and surrendering to You and then letting these things fall away.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Good! Then there's this fundamental disposition, hearing and seeing Me. There's all the details of discipline as they apply in each kind of circumstance, moment, relationship. There's the fundamental practice moment to moment, all the faculties surrendered-truly self surrendering, self-forgetting. You're here to do that. Tell your lady about it. Tell your friends about it. You do it. That's it-flat.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, that's what I want.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Well, do it then. Its not enough to merely want it-I mean, wanting it, fine. You have to make a life out it. And no compromises anymore.

DEVOTEE: I know that's what I have to do, Beloved.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Its not a matter of getting dissociated from your woman or anything like that. I'm not suggesting that.

DEVOTEE: I know You're not, Beloved.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Its this great Yoga, moment to moment for real. And there's some agreements that have to be made about that with others. So you don't have to play any games about it, you see? So the agreement with your intimate is one of the important ones, one of the greatly important ones. Your friends, the community, how everybody is going to work, how you're going to work, what you're going to get down to now. Make agreements, then uphold them. For real. Its not a loveless matter.

DEVOTEE: No, I know that.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: With your intimate, family, friends and so forth-not loveless. But it is very serious, very intense, greatly disciplined. Always in Communion with Me. Always entering into Samadhi. And no compromise about it, period. And you serve your intimate or your friends, everybody you know, the same way, in that very disposition which you maintain insistently, that you are jealous of more than anything else. Its your greatest treasure and you will not have it be compromised. You will not violate your vow to Me. And that's it. And it doesn't take a lot of time to do that.

DEVOTEE: No, it doesn't.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: You have the impulse. You have the understanding in some basic terms. Then you just have to flat out do it and not bullshit yourself or anyone else about it.

DEVOTEE: I feel like You're drawing that out of me. You're Giving me that.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Good! Now lets see.

I'm going to be leaving California shortly. And so those who are going to stay behind here wont be around Me physically, but you'll be in My Company constantly. And you'll come to see Me in Naitauba, or if I travel somewhere, make use of that opportunity. But presuming separation from Me and using that as an excuse to drop back from the practice is total garbage.

Who else then?

DEVOTEE: I just wanted to say that tonight I was feeling really sick, but just being with You tonight, in this moment, I feel completely free of all the symptoms of the flu.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Mm-hm. When you come forward to Me and live in My Radiance and become radiant in relation to Me, yes the body has this and that about it and you have to deal with it, be intelligent about it, but you don't have to identify with it and be overwhelmed by the symptoms and so forth.

DEVOTEE: That's been part of Your Gift of this time, I feel this constant leaning into You.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I really feel that it is difficult to practice when we are not in Your physical Company. Everybody in Purnashram is suffering it, and everybody in Lake County will be suffering it in a few weeks, or whenever You leave. It is difficult. I know you can do it, but-

DEVOTEES: No! Wait a minute! Wait a minute.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: You should always be in My Company and you should always crave coming into My physical Sphere . . .

DEVOTEE: Its a longing, Beloved.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: . . . and that's why you have to do what's now called the "Golden Bathtub agreement", where everybody agrees they're going to come on retreat in Purnashram, or wherever I may be at the time, and do so without fail. You cant always be in My physical Company. Its not necessary for the practice for you to be in My physical Company always. Ultimately its not necessary for you to be in My physical Company at all. In due time that will become an impossibility. Devotees who are utterly incapable for one reason or another of coming into My physical Company should nonetheless be able to be served in being in My constant Company by the culture of devotees-who don't talk them into some abstraction of Me, you see. This is also why I need Instrumentality, that's what the LRO is supposed to be about. Not some goodhearted fools who want status, but individuals doing real sadhana who can serve the function of Instrumentality which I've Discoursed about, written in The Dawn Horse Testament about, and so on. And you cant do that without profound sadhana. Become a vehicle of Mine, to serve my devotees outside of My physical Sphere. So I need Yogis.

What else, then? We haven't talked about any profound and ultimate matters yet.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, You said years back in the Ignorance "Consideration", that the only way that one can Commune with You is if one sat in the same position as You are, otherwise it is only the self, only the ego that is trying to…

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Meditating on itself.

DEVOTEE: Well, unless I stand in that position of Ignorance, then every effort that I make is simply adding experience to myself.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Every ordinary effort, certainly. But there's the effort of Ishta-Guru-Bhakti, all the faculties are put on Me, surrendered to Me, to the point of self-forgetting Communion with Me. That is the practice from the beginning. And practicing Ishta-Guru-Bhakti then in the earlier stages is true Communion with Me, if you truly do it. Its absorptive Communion. In other words, you enter into Communion with Me, Realization of Me, the Samadhi of finding Me, by submitting the faculties. Because it involves submission of the faculties, you become absorbed in Me rather than simply standing in My Place. But it nonetheless is the Samadhi of Communion with Me. Its in the "Perfect Practice", the Samadhi without "difference", where you do not submit the faculties, you transcend them inherently and stand in My Place. Now that is, of course, most profound Realization of Me, Perfect Realization of Me-ultimately, in the seventh stage, Most Perfect, Divinely Perfect Realization of Me without "difference".

But that is not to say that there is no virtue in the absorptive Samadhis. It is the necessary course from the beginning because there must be a purification of bondage to the body-mind or the ego-states that are conditional, or the conditional states altogether. Its only having been purified by that absorptive practice that there is sufficient equanimity, freedom from re-attachment to identification with the faculties, the modifications and so forth, that you can do the sadhana without "difference". That's the "Perfect Practice". And that is the practice for which you are preparing yourselves. Everything is preliminary to the "Perfect Practice". That does not mean however that there is no great realization of Me before the "Perfect Practice". There is, in these absorptive Samadhis, made by the practice of Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga, the submission of the faculties to Me. What else about that?

DEVOTEE: Thank You, Beloved. That explains it.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Who else, then?

DEVOTEE: Beloved, feeling-Contemplation is a kind of Samadhi.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Yes, it is. This is language I've used to describe the basis and the circumstance for absorptive Samadhi. Its another bit of language to describe Ishta-Guru-Bhakti Yoga. You submit the faculties to Me, truly surrendered to the point of self-forgetting Contemplation of Me so that you locate Me, enter into My Sphere by that submission, by that self-forgetting. You become absorbed in Me. In that absorption you do realize Me, you are in My Place, but you've gotten into My Place by that submission, it is conditionally arrived at, conditionally Realized. Therefore, it is conditional Samadhi. But nonetheless, it is Realization of Me. And as you progress through the stages previous to the "Perfect Practice", beginning in the sixth stage of life, the process of this absorptive Samadhi goes through various changes, and there are various associated signs and so forth that correspond to the advancing stages, but its still ultimately the location of Me because the practice is to submit the faculties to the point of self-forgetting Communion with Me. So its the same in the context of the first three stages, a little bit of the fourth, then the full fourth, then the fifth if you must do all of that. All the Samadhis are absorptive, therefore conditionally arrived at, until the "Perfect Practice" begins. The "Perfect Practice" does not involve the submission or exploitation of the faculties, because you are not in that position. You stand in the Position Prior to the faculties, the Position of the Witness. So the Samadhis in the "Perfect Practice" are the Samadhis without "difference": Jnana Samadhi, ultimately Moksha-Bhava Samadhi, or Inherent and Most Perfect Identification with Me in the seventh stage of life. Those are the samadhis without "difference" because there is no faculty to be identified with, therefore the Samadhis are not conditional. Not in the seventh stage certainly. In the sixth, it is conditional in the sense that the principle of Consciousness is submitted as if it is individual. In other words, there is exclusion of phenomena. It is to that degree conditional. And therefore Most Perfect Samadhi is awakened only in the seventh stage of life, when there is no more exclusion.

Nonetheless, all the Samadhis of this devotion to Me are in some fundamental sense equal because they are realization of Me. This grace is potential at every stage of the Way then. But at each stage until the seventh, identification with conditionality is part of the process of submission to Me.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, when You were holding my face in Your hands the other night, I felt so much love for You. I felt like You had somehow impregnated me years ago and that somehow this love was emerging more and more and that it was You, and that I wasn't loving You , but You were replacing me, and that in some ways in the process of Realizing You, You actually completely take over our body-minds and replace them.

ADI DA .SAMRAJ: Yes! That is it. The Way is not a practice of techniques that you apply to yourself and then get into Samadhi somehow, you see. The practice from the beginning is Communion with Me. It is Realization of Me. The foundation principle is that of being attracted to Me, moved to Me. Being moved to Me, then you do this counter-egoic effort.

The whole purpose of it all is Samadhi, rather than conditional existence and its limitations.

DEVOTEE: Its Your Grace, Beloved.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: It is to Realize the Source-Condition of all modifications. Now, to Realize the Source-Condition of all modifications you must, by Grace, be identified with the Source, be Communing with the Source to the point of Identification with the Source. Then the Source-Condition, the Divine Condition, becomes Existence, rather than the tour of modifications which are in and of themselves limited, conditional, passing, in and of themselves unsatisfactory.

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I have a question. Well, two things I wanted to say. One is last night You were talking about asking -if you have a Guru, you ask. You don't say to the Guru what you will do, you ask.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Of course not, why would it occur to you to do otherwise?

DEVOTEE: And I found over the last period of time for me that to be so vulnerable to just simply ask You what to do -I had a lot of questions but actually I think Ill ask this one. Beloved, in The Dawn Horse Testament You talked about the Lay Congregationist Order, and the Lay Renunciate Order-

ADI DA SAMRAJ: And the Free Renunciate Order. And student-novices and student-beginners. [laughter]

DEVOTEE: On my last retreat, I went to Naitauba having studied what You described about those two orders and feeling that my practice was more the Lay Congregationist Order…

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Well, so much the worse for you. Go on.

DEVOTEE: So the main…

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Prefer the slow course.

DEVOTEE: I hope not. But the main point that was brought by You is that the Lay Renunciate Order are cultural servers, people who actually have a cultural point of view.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Well, generally speaking, its not absolute. But the principal role of the collective of the Lay Renunciate Order is cultural. That doesn't mean that there cant be some members of the Lay Renunciate Order who do other things, but generally they must serve the gathering very importantly.

DEVOTEE: So in reading that description I was meeting with another other devotees on the retreat staff who felt like my service to You has been sometimes cultural but often in the practical domain. This area of these two orders sounds like something I should simply just ask You. I've consulted Your Teaching Word, I've read the two descriptions of the two orders completely, and I'm still not fully resolved as to which of those orders is actually appropriate for me. I'm fully willing to accept Your Word and…

ADI DA SAMRAJ: You should practice with fullest right intention, embrace the Way I've Given you, and in due course your signs will determine which of those orders you should enter into. So, approach Me with fullest seriousness, with the intention to Realize Me and well see.

Anybody else?

DEVOTEE: Beloved, this is a hard question to ask because I feel like there's only . . .

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Just ask the question.

DEVOTEE: OK. Its regarding money. I kind of feel I understand Your principle completely about giving it . . .

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Money is human energy. And to live in the condition of energy you must make money open-ended, be open-ended. You have to stay with the flow of money rather than hoard it. So there's a lot of sharing, cooperation, and giving that's fundamental to the whole matter of money in your life. If you don't do sharing, cooperating, giving, then you're just hoarding, and you stop the flow, you don't exist in the condition of energy, and money is not in the condition of energy.

DEVOTEE: I completely understand the principle of it and I really value-

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Yes. And so what's your question?

DEVOTEE: I still feel that money sometimes binds my attention.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Binds your attention, yes.

DEVOTEE: I try to keep enough excess so that I can not worry about money, and serve You mostly.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Well, OK, become a billionaire then! [laughter]

DEVOTEE: That's my ultimate goal. [laughter] Not necessarily in that ultimate term, but part of this sadhana with You and Realization of You.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: I own nothing now, a legal renunciate, and I have spent most of the lifetime of this Body in circumstances with very little money . . .

DEVOTEE: I know that.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: . . . and didn't feel deprived of money at that time or like I had to invest my life in becoming a billionaire.

DEVOTEE: I totally realize that, absolutely. I just feel there's something in this body-mind that feels like that's something that has to be worked out first in order-

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Yes, you have to be "successful as an ego" before you can devote yourself to Me and do real sadhana. Its all garbage!

You people are total amateurs at making money. Absolute total amateurs. What you could do collectively, cooperatively, intensively, creatively, the businesses, entrepreneurial this, that, and the other thing, the pooling of funds to do this, that, and the other project, is immense even with the current numbers of devotees. There's so much more you can do with it. You're just in the ego-position relative to money and creativity and making money and all the rest, even with only twelve-hundred or whatever it is now, you see. By entering into cooperative endeavors with one another, even just with this twelve-hundred, you could make immense funds.

DEVOTEE: I totally believe that.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: But you don't do it! You're utterly retarded about it. All living in your nests, with a few stupid ideas, not making use of the great flow of energy that you as a collective represent, you see. Twelve-hundred people can make big pazoozas. And share it and give it away and use it creatively and have fun with it, make some more. You see? You don't even know how to make money!

DEVOTEE: All we have to do is listen to Beloved. He's given us so many billion dollar ideas-

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Well, get hip to making money then, really do it. Get together with one another, get down to business about it, you know? Don't be like this lady over here, who's got to raise a few bucks for her intimate circumstance so she's going to do some Feldenkrais massage. That's not entrepreneurial mentality. Get down and do something that makes some real bucks. And give Feldenkrais massage for fun to your friends. You cant become a billionaire by doing Feldenkrais massage. Get involved in enterprise with one another. Enterprises that supply basic needs or that are extraordinarily creative that will create another need that you can sell you see. Make some money.

DEVOTEE: I really only want to make money to support Your Work.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: You all have incredible potential and you don't even realize, everybody needs bread-why not make a bread business, then? Everybody needs clothes, vitamins-why don't you do Master Foody Moody? People get turned on with this and that. Why don't you make some business out of it? Why don't you do things together, pool your funds, get down to it, make a few billion. You act like you're independent of one another and keeping it up close. Then you get stuck in the technicalities, the legalities, the bureaucracy of your little bit of exchange and you reduce your income that way. You people could make immense funds just with twelve-hundred. Do your real mission and you get thousands upon thousands, and share the wealth with one another. So much you people could do. You're so separate and independent about it, you cant figure out how to do it. All these ceremonial reservations and limitations. That's all I ever hear from you. Where is the gift?

DEVOTEE: Beloved, I think the sign of my service is to help create gifts for You or to help try to create missionary support . . .

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Good. That's enough, that's good. Do that.

DEVOTEE: Da! I love you so much, and I want-Your Success is really my hearts desire.

ADI DA SAMRAJ: Once you've generated some funds, then you put the eggs in some other basket, make more businesses, make lots of businesses all over the place, get lots of people involved in it. Make incredible bucks, do it for fun, play with it, get on with it. You all relate to money like its some kind of mystery-like its the ultimate mystery. There's no mystery about it, its a very practical matter. Be energetic, because its energy. So relate to one another with energy and you can make lots of money.

What else, then? Is it four yet?

DEVOTEES: Happy New Year, Beloved! [whoops and yelling and clapping and Happy New Year exclamations]

ADI DA SAMRAJ: When its the New Year in Fiji, its the New Year everywhere.

Brightening Heart Series - Index