A Monkey's Tale On the Divine Person by Frank Marrero , For Beloved Leelas in Praise of Beloved Da, Avatara Adi Da Love-Ananda, Samraj, Eleutherios, The Bright Ruchira Buddha Chapter Twelve: The Aftermath     We lived in retreat on the Mountain of Attention for another year. After a few weeks or months, most of the glow was gone, or rather wasted in social and personal consolations. But even from afar He kept the fire ablaze with brilliant emotional considerations that penetrated to the heart of our emotional defenses and withholding. Denise and I decided that we could not break the immature patterns of our youth together and our practice would be served by separating. It was so painful to realize later that I simply refused to love someone perfectly dear to me. Iswore never to do that again. In the late winter of 1984, Donuts, aka Mark Travis, came to me and pointed out that I was angry at Master Da. No way, Icouldn't fathom it. Way, Donuts said. Donuts recounted some of my more difficult moments and Iremembered wanting to punch the Wild Heart, and Donuts led me to write a letter to Crazy Da expressing my anger. It was a transformative exercise of standing with the dark. Master Da returned to the Mountain of Attention to see all His devotees. It was one of those times when He looks at each devotee, receives everything from them, their love, their doubt, their anger, their sorrow, and their fear. After He has absorbed each and all, He goes into Blissful Samadhi, and sends all the feelings He gathered into the energy of divinity. All who give to Him are resurrected in God. It is a miracle to behold. His Love for me cleansed me again and my eyes were cleared. Then after the Darshan occasion, my best friend Terry Patten approached me from behind and threw his arm across my shoulder. It was a pivotal moment in my life. With my eyes cleared and my consciousness sublimed, I noticed at a deep level the male-body distrusting, homophobic contracting action of my deep psyche. It was the very unseen pain, the deepest alienation that the Giver of Life had enlightened for me. The depth of my difficulty at Tumomama was suddenly multiplied in the depth and breadth of joy. Now I fully understood His previous ruthlessness in dealing with me. I was amazed at His genius once again. By such grace I could see my own activity and it was obvious I needn't do that; I allowed the feminine in me without reaction. I relaxed the source of the neurosis and my life forever changed. I fully relaxed in the company of men for the first time. I noticed I would have taken this unseen contraction to my death-bed were it not for the divine surgery of the Free One. I fell to my knees in gratitude. I lived a different existence from that point on. I found a perfect lover and over the years developed the excellences of tantric practice and realization, as I had learned from the Person of Love Himself. In gratitude for His Genius and Gracious Surgery, Ibecame Director of Children's Education and made a list of projects that, if accomplished, would be a true gift of thanks. With the help of many, I produced or wrote a series of books and booklets, summarizing His wisdom on children and serving the incarnation of the children's culture. Ice Cream and Shoe, a manual for religious life for 18-36 month old children. Four Primary Principles of Conscious Childrearing. Parent Education The Scale of the Very Small, Spiritual Responsibility for Pregnancy, and the first eighteen months. (magnificently finished years later by Meg McDonnell and Richard Silk) Vegetable Surrender, A Story by two children and Master Da. Most of the work were the illustrations by Molly) The God-Games Project, now Ancient Games, Stories, and Lessons On the Development of Character. An Elementary Multicultural Curriculum on Values Education. see http://www.well.com/user/apollo/ Are You the One? and The World is a Magical Place, The People of Gods Heart by Dama Gratia-and other little books for the children, teaching with stories. The Mountain of Attention Coloring Book and I Embrace Everyone!, -A coloring book with sacred places and a book of three stories of the Master's play with animals. And when this gift of literature was as done as I could make it, another revelation followed. On May 23 ,1987, I was sitting by a lake with my friend Terry enjoying a lovely sunset. Terry knew me as well as anybody, and in ways, better than I knew myself. He had seen all my dirty laundry, and like my family, loved me anyway. Like occasions with Beloved Da, love penetrated the darkness at the deepest levels and I fell through and inherited a million voices and deaths to the Source of Life that is always only Present. The dark became utterly acceptable, and I became an adult that day. For the first time, I could feel myself truely; I became stable in my listening to my own state. The Ruchira Buddha Adi Da had calmed the monkey mind. I was at rest and by such reception I was admitted to the akasic records, the mystic source of all knowledge. Volumes were downloaded as the feminine Muses were set free. I passed the Hall of Truth with a light heart and became true of voice. What began that day became my life-work and primary service to Him. I am the same enthusiastic, obnoxious, indulgent egoic-fool I always was. However, through light and dark, illusion, delusion, stupidity, all emotions, even arrogance, forgetfulness, Narcissism, and refusal, the connection to divinity became and remains continuous-because the Truth of God embraces even the darkest self-interest. Regardless of my immature practice of the Truth, through the blessing, grace, and help of the Divine Person and Spiritual Master, I remain always contiguous with His Gift of Immortal Happiness.   Table of Contents  Preface Chapter One: The First Time Chapter Two: I Didn't Understand Chapter Three: The Secret Place Chapter Four: Welcome to the Gom-Boo Chapter Five: Body of Light Chapter Six: The Cult of Pairs Revisited Chapter Seven: The Thief Chapter Eight: The Storm of the Century Chapter Nine: The Christmas Miracle Chapter Ten: Divine Radar Chapter Eleven: The Last Night Chapter Twelve: The Aftermath Return to Beezone Articles

MENU | Home | Intro | Beezone Articles | Adi Da Articles | Tradition Articles | All Articles | email

"The perfect among the sages is identical with Me. There is absolutely no difference between us"
Tripura Rahasya, Chap XX, 128-133